I found out yesterday that I’ve officially been approved to go to Tanzania by the mission I’ll be working with. Even now, I’m not quite sure if this is really happening or if I’ll wake up from this wonderful dream tomorrow morning. After discussing buying a plane ticket, getting a visa and calling a travel clinic about shots, I felt every emotion known to human kind. I was literally shaking with nervous apprehension and yet I had the deepest conviction that I am absolutely doing exactly what God is calling me to. That conviction has been shattered almost daily though, by self-doubt and fear. One of my biggest worries is that I won’t be able to handle the poverty and problems that I am going to experience. Sometimes I wonder if I am too empathetic, too compassionate. Just hearing about starving children, or seeing pictures of them has the power to send me into depression for days. I have the bad habit of making their problems personal and thinking that I have to solve all of these problems myself. When I fall into this way of thinking I just remember that since God is calling me to go to Tanzania he will equip me with whatever I need to do his work. One of my favorite quotes is: “God does not called the equipped, he equips the called”. Mother Teresa also has something witty to say on the subject: “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” In fact I’ve been looking to the words of Mother Teresa lately to help me through this and help me realize that whatever I can do, no matter how small the difference, is all that God wants from me. She has so much to say about this subject!
Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.
I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
Jesus said love one another. He didn’t say love the whole world.