Late Night Thoughts

Lately my sense of self is being redefined every day.  A few weeks ago someone asked me the scariest question ever: “are you in charge here?”  To my surprise the answer was yes!  I’ve been involved in Campus Ministry at my college for a couple of years and people keep telling me I’m a leader, but I don’t think I believed that until I was asked that question.

I used to look at upperclassmen and say wow they’re so cool and they obviously have it all together.  They’re leaders and everyone looks up to them.  This year I had came to the slow realization that I’m one of those upperclassmen now.  Let me tell you, that’s down right scary.  Freshmen look up to me.  I’m confident and smart and above all a leader.  In reality I’m shy and I have no idea what I want to do with my life.  People that I don’t even know are going to start recognizing me because they came to a club I’m the president of.  Or they’ll recognize my name from the Campus Ministry programs I run.

Then a whole other layer is added when I reveal that I spent two months this summer in Africa.  People actually told me that they would never see me the same again or that I was a hero. Something that seemed so natural to me made people think of me differently.

Little old shy me; a leader who’s brave and someone to look up to.  This idea blows my mind and even more than that I am awed at how God can truly use anyone to do His work.